Planning a special funeral

Planning a funeral for your baby may feel like an overwhelming task and making decisions at such a raw time may feel beyond you. Answering these questions might help you work through the process of arranging the day you formally say goodbye to your baby. You may wish to print this to help talk things through with your partner, family, funeral director and minister.

Type Of Service
  • Consider whether you would like to have your baby buried or cremated.
  • Some options for the service might be:
    • In a Church
    • By the Grave Site
    • A significant place (beach or a park)
    • Some parents have created a special
      place in their garden for their tiny baby
      after an early miscarriage
  • Will their be a formal service? Who will lead this service:
    • Church Minister
    • Funeral Celebrant
    • Consider having family or friends speak
  • Would you like private or public viewing of your baby before the service
  • How will this special service take place
    • Surrounded by family & friends
    • An intimate private service
Before the Service
  • Consider spending time with your baby before the service.
    Is there a special outfit you would like to
    dress your baby in?
  • Consider what you may like to place in with your baby:
    • A poem
    • A letter from you or others
    • A special toy
    • Something else special you wish your baby to have
Ideas for the Service
  • Read a special poem or biblical verse or special words during the service
    • Consider inviting others to read on your behalf or with you
  • Create an Order of Service
  • Release butterflies / doves
  • Have a significant flower/s to be displayed or presented on the casket
  • Have photos of your baby, hand & foot prints displayed, or something of significance.
  • Ask Family & Friends to sprinkle rose petals or place flowers onto the casket
  • Choose a playlist of music. Bears of Hope have released ‘Live Among Angels’ and you can listen to it here. See our Songs Library for a more suggestions.
  • Consider a photographer for the service or request a friend be the official person to capture the day.
  • Have someone video record the service
  • Light candles
  • Suggest family and friends donate to a charity instead of giving flowers.
  • Bears Of Hope can provide family and friends with important support and guidance brochures for the funeral. These were created to help family and friends understand the impact a loss has on parents and how to support them through their loss
  • Purchase of a special Urn for the Funeral Home to place your baby’s ashes in
  • Publish a memorial notice in the local newspaper
  • Keep flowers or rose petals from the service to press as a lifelong keepsake.
  • Do you want to have a memorial book for family and friends to write messages in?

And lastly consider, would you like to have a wake including your family and friends.

Saying goodbye and celebrating your love will look different for everybody. Whatever feels right for your heart will create a beautiful display of love for your child.

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