We might hear people explain this loss as a stillbirth, late miscarriage, medical termination, placenta abruption, there are so many causes and unexplained reasons to why you may be grieving a baby you held in your arms that you did not get to see take a breath. In medical terminology we usually relate this area of loss to a baby 20 weeks gestation or weighing 400grams but we know that if you have birthed your baby before this time and held them in your arms then they have been born still. The birth of a baby is expected to be a joyful event and the time leading up to it is full of hope and expectation, no one expects a baby to die. In fact up to half of the babies born still occur in pregnancies that appeared problem free.
Grieving a baby born still is very personal and like any loss, grief can come in many different ways. The initial shock and numbness often faded to other very intense emotions that can result in overwhelming, possibly frightening, emotional and physical reactions. As a result of the intensity of the feelings those around you may rush to try and help you “feel better”, not giving you the time and space you need to grieve. Allowing yourself and others to experience this in individual ways can be vital to healing.
Each day may feel different and bring new challenges, emotions and triggers. It is normal to swing between feelings of despair to more hopeful feelings because grief is unpredictable. Allow yourself time to grieve and heal, both as a couple and individually and know that Bears of Hope is here to support you when and if you feel the support is needed.
“Even the smallest of feet have the power to leave
everlasting footprints upon this world.”