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Special Dates

Anticipating and facing special dates after the loss of your baby, can be challenging. A time when you should be celebrating, becomes a time of remembering, yearning, painful stabs in the heart, and thinking about all the “what ifs” and “should have beens” instead. Not only is your precious baby not here with you, but witnessing the celebration and joy in other families can make it even more heartbreaking. Grief may increase around special dates or family get-togethers as these are times when your baby's absence is all the more obvious.

The First Year

The first year after the loss of your baby is usually the hardest because you face all the firsts without your baby. We hope that you have the support of a family member or friend who is there for you when you need them. Please also know we here at Bears Of Hope offer different support services. Grieving takes time and so as each year that passes, these certain special times may become a little less raw. Perhaps use this time to release your emotions so that it allows you to heal a little and move a further step forward.

The Lead Up

Many parents have found that the lead up to certain special dates is worse than on the actual day. We almost fear that day, not wanting it to arrive, not knowing how we will cope or not wanting to feel more pain than we already are. As a result, your anxiety may increase, you may experience sleepless nights, your moods may change, you may worry over how to perfectly plan the day to honour your baby.

Planning Your Day

Through planning the day though, it can also be a beautiful, memorable one. Performing certain rituals to get through these special dates may provide comfort and healing to your hurting soul, by giving you some tangible purpose in your day. The way you wish to remember your baby is completely unique to you. Whether you are on your own, or are surrounded by family & friends, this is a time you can do something in honour of your baby.

Here are some ideas you might like to think about to help you get through Birthdays, Due Dates, Mother’s & Father’s Day, Anniversaries, Easter and Christmas time.

  • Write a message on and release balloons to the heavens
  • Release butterflies
  • Visit the cemetery
  • Place flowers or special ornaments on your baby’s resting place
  • Collect a special ornament or something of significance each year
  • Plant a tree or flower
  • Light a candle
  • Make or buy a birthday cake
  • Sing Happy Birthday
  • Name a Star in honour of your baby
  • Write a poem or letter to your baby
  • Buy a special piece of Jewellery
  • Go on a picnic
  • Have a special place to go to for breakfast, lunch or dinner each year
  • Take a walk along the beach or within a peaceful environment
  • Go on holiday to a certain place each year.
  • Donate a bear of hope in honour of your baby
  • Hold an Online Bear Drive in honour of your baby
  • Create or Purchase a Card
  • Create or purchase a personal Christmas bauble to hang on the tree
  • Look through photo’s, video footage, memory box
  • Scrapbook
  • Sprinkle rose petals on the gravesite or onto water
  • Create or purchase a personalised candle
  • Make a donation to a charity

There is no right or wrong way to honour or remember your baby. We wish you a gentle day, drawing on the love you have for your baby as strength to help you through. Please read Creating Memories-The Time Ahead for more ideas.

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