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Father's Day

When a baby dies, many people’s thoughts are with the mother as she was the one that carried the baby, she is one that birthed the baby, she is the one feeling the overwhelming sense of loss - that something she carried for that time has gone. Father’s are often the forgotten one as people ask
them how their partner is, but we must remember that father’s have lost too.

The loneliness and emptiness that mother’s feel, father’s feel too, they are just expressed differently. Men and women grieve differently and it is important to understand and acknowledge this. Women usually reach out for help, through
counseling or support groups, family and friends. Men generally bottle up their feelings and only let it out when they are on their own or perhaps when they are at the grave of their child.

Although men don’t express themselves like women do, it does not mean they grieve any less. Coping with the loss of your child at any time can be heartbreaking and devastating, but it can be worse at certain times like Father’s Day.

What does Father’s Day mean?

For most people it is when your child tells or shows you how much they love you, does extra special things for you, where dad receives the accolades they deserve…….but for many dads it is when the grief hits hard. You start to wonder what it would be like if your baby was here, what you would be doing.

Whether your loss is recent or time has passed the pain of not having your loved one with you can still be as raw as the day you lost them. As a father it is important to acknowledge your grief, feel your grief, express your grief, cry, scream, let your emotions out. And as a mother it is important to support the father to get through this day. Men try to put on a brave face and say ‘I’m ok’, but it is important to let them know that it is ok to feel sad and it is ok to cry. Too often we hear that men don’t cry or shouldn’t cry, but we need to allow them to in
order for them to get through the grieving process.

You may be spending the day with your own father but it is important to acknowledge that you are a father too and by doing something in memory of your baby it may just help you get through the day.

Here are some ideas of things you might like to do:

  • Donate a bear to Bears Of Hope in honour of your
  • Light a candle throughout the day
  • Write a letter or poem
  • Visit the cemetery
  • Buy yourself a special gift

So on this father’s day, we wish every father a special day and know that your angel baby is with you wherever you are.