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Enquiries: 1300 11 BEAR
Email: contact@bearsofhope.org.au

Grief Support: 1300 11 HOPE
Email: support@bearsofhope.org.au

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Coping Strategies

Talk

Talking to others about your baby and your feelings of loss can help you work through your grief. You may prefer to talk to a close friend or family member, or seek out a support group of parents who have also lost their baby. Some parents have a need to talk about their baby regularly and this is common. It not only reflects the significance and impact your baby has had on you, but allows you to speak of your baby as a member of the family, it provides an environment for you to speak of your baby openly, and allows you to release your feelings; hence providing an avenue for healing. Writing in your diary, writing letters to your baby or writing poetry can also provide a positive way to deal with your emotions.

Cry

If you feel you need to, just cry. This will allow you to release your emotions in a positive way. If you’re a private person, find some time on your own when you feel you can safely do this. Do not bottle up your emotions. It's importnat to express and deal with the various feelings as they surface.

Honour Your Baby

Many parents have found great comfort in doing something to honour their baby. For example, many parents buy keepsakes, release balloons, donate to a charity, donate a bear of hope to another family in honour of their baby, make quilts for other angel babies, scrapbook, or become a volunteer for a charity. For some parents reaching out to help others becomes an important part of grieving and healing. For more ideas for honouring your baby please visit Creating Memories-The Time Ahead.

Exercise

Exercising releases endorphins which make you feel good. Go for a walk or run, join a team sport or a gym. This may be quite difficult in the very early stages of your grief, but it is a positive option for coping with your grief.

Have Time Alone

It’s important that you do find the time to be on your own, in your own space. This allows you to work through your thoughts and emotions without any distractions or pressure. Find a place you can do this. You may want to find something you enjoy doing during this time.

Find Support

It’s important you have someone you can talk to during your grieving. Friends and family who provide that open support and allow you to grieve, will have a positive impact on the way you deal with your loss. If you feel as though you have to grieve in silence because your friends and family just don’t understand what you’re going through, please contact us here or join one of our online support groups. You cope better knowing that there are other parents who are there for you every step of the way, compared to grieving alone. Alternatively, there are many other support services available.

Avoid making major decisions

Major decisions such as moving or buying a house or changing jobs may intensify your emotions and cause more stress while you’re grieving the loss of your baby.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

There is no linear pattern of grief to follow; it is a personal passage you will journey which may have many ups and downs. There may be times of great sadness, and then a few good days. But then the next you could be feeling quite angry and lashing out. This can be quite overwhelming and you may feel out of control when these emotions surface. The best thing is to not expect yourself to feel a certain way when you're feeling the complete opposite, and accept that having a bad day may be necessary for you to move forward again.